Here's one for you: Link Stinks!



Ugh, look at him, taking my heat.

This little punk takes my fucking dress sense, then faggots it up by being a faggot and making faggot-ass faggot dress out of my fuckin' non-faggot style. Seriously, what a fukken faggot.

Firstly, Luigi is lean, mean and green. Every fucker under the fukken sun knows that! What does this complete prick do??? Wears fucking GREEN!!! Is Nintendo completely prepared to ruin any ounce of credibility this poor fukken Italian American had??

Not only does this little fukken gay-ass faggot boy take my style, he makes it so completely fukken homo as to take the right cake!!

Firstly, the hat. What the fuck is that all about? It's meant to be a fucking man's hat with a big fukken L on it! L meaning lu-fukken-igi, not li-faggot-nk!!!!!. It's not some stupid little elven piece of shit garb. he likes it because it ends with a point, like his homo little needledick.

Then, to totally take the piss, he wears a fucking DRESS!!! FUCKING SKIRT AND SHIT, LIKE THE LITTLE CROSSDRESSING 'TARD THAT HE IS!!!

What a complete minger.

And I wouldn't fucking mind, but Nintendo are whoring this transvestite queer to the masses while your poor Luigi sits alone in a woodshed, carving out the dolls of sin that would remind him of a life that could have been, if only Mrs. Mario had stillbirthed the first time round!!

But then, even if my dear brother had been born an undeveloped foetus of terror, I bet they'd still kiss his homo-ass all the live long day. Mother rubbing her clit up against the glass jar that keeps Mario's foetal remains preserved in fluid, getting her skanky pussy juice all over it then licking it off while daddy takes her up the ass, shouting "Oh Mario, Mario, favourite but dead son, I wish you could be here so I could suck your fat, faggoty cock".

One day, mother and father will die, and then Luigi will have the last laugh, and Mario will cry, but then, he would cry, because they gave him the FLUD device, while I got a fukken vaccuum!!!

AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS MARIO DOING IN MY FUKKEN MANSION??? I WON THAT!!! IT WAS MINE!!!!!! MINE!!!! HOW DARE HE BE TRAPPED IN MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!!

You know, I'd love to find Zelda, break her spirit before I break her anal walls, violate every hole in her slutty little body, stick a Triforce up her cunt, cut her belly open and fuck the guts, pull an eye out of the socket but leave it attached and twist it around so it's looking into her other eye and she stares at her own terror forevermore. And I'd fucking find her mother, and I'd get her mother pregnant, and seven months later, I'd cut her fat preggo stomach open and fuck the baby inside while she dies and cries and then I'd slit Zelda's throat open and shit in her mouth, then I'd crucify her outside Link's house, and Link goes out in the morning to see if he can 'pass' for a woman, and he'd see his fucking girlfriend, who he prefers dressed up as Sheik 'cos she looks like a boy his homo-ass could fuck, then he sees her and he is full of such rage and agony, seeing his once loved bitch hanging for all to see, dripping in blood, piss and sperm.

And I'm speeding down the road, in the Kart they stole from me in Mario Kart: Double Dash, making me share with Mario The Cunt, and Link dies as he bounces off my bonnet, the last thing he ever saw was that which he loved, now strung up as a monster, a parody of his former emotion. Fucking destroyed, every vestige of humanity raped from her very being, to satisfy Luigi. ME!!!

And then we went for rides.

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