Ice Climbers? More like Cock Slimers!



You know who I fucking hate? Those rancid little eskimo pricks the Ice Climbers!

Have any of you ever actually played an Ice Climber game? IT'S FUCKING SHIT!! JUMPING UP FUCKING LEDGES WHILE FUCKING POLAR BEARS FUCKING AROUND DOING FUCK ALL THE FUCKING DAY! And you've got that little baby-dicked cocksucker and his little slut sister, tied by fucking rope like bondage whores and hammers like hammer whores. You can't climb ice with a hammer, you fucking pair of TARDS!

So let's look at the facts.

They are shit characters

There games are shit

YET HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY MORE POPULAR THAN FUKKEN LUIGI???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????

People love those little faggots, yet your own fukken Luigi doesn't get the respect he deserves? MY GAME WAS SHITTER THAN ICE CLIMBERS, YET I STILL PULLED THROUGH! DON'T I GET KUDOS FOR THAT YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE CUNTS? I hate fucking Nintendo and its fucking Nintendo clits. It's all thanks to the slutty Japs that people know dick-SHIT about Ice Climbers. Am I too tall for you, you yellow skinned, piss-slit eyed, buck toothed little rice munching, Pearl Harbour bombing FUCKS!?!?!?!?!?!

Yeah, that's the fucking problem you dirty rice gobblers. You want to bone Mario in his faggot-ass 'cos he's a little short piece of cunting dicking shit, and you love the Ice Climbers because they're short, underaged little fucking dickslurpers!

There's so much that needs to be done to rectify this, but I know where I'd start. Those two little cocksucking Ice Climbers (Rice chompers) are living in fucked-up eskimo land, being fukken cocks, until Luigi enters the frey. They trust me at first, they don't know my intent, how could they? Until I grab lil' boy blue and throw him into a wall. I don't want him getting involved while myself and bitchy pink get better acquainted.

So I throw that bitch down on the floor and grab her legs, before kicking her in the cunt as hard as possible. I'm talking a serious fucking kicking her. I make sure to get the toe of my boot RIGHT up her fucking area. Jesus, she's crying after the first kick, imagine what it's like when she's been given the worst forced period of all, courtesy of your ol' Green Machine. She's like "please, God Mr. Luigi, it hurts, it hurts so bad" and that just fucking turns me on. Turns me on with a massive dick in my pants that gets massive.

I wonder how my dick got so red and wet? Use your imagination. It's while I'm finishing cumming in her face that her brother comes round. He only needs to take one look at the shivering wretch that was his sister to know what's happened. I lick my fingers, laughing the whole time, before I grab Blue and shove him face first into his sister's snatch. I then pull out my kitchen knife and hold it to Pinky's temple. I tell brother that if he doesn't make with the rapin', I'll slowly plunge this knife into the side of her head and pull outwards, cutting through her fucking eyes.

She tells him it's not worth it, she doesn't want her brother to force himself to do something so disgusting. She knows for her, life is over, even if her existance were to continue after this day. The state I left her in, she won't be able to PISS without agony, much less have a fucking kid. But brother, he doesn't see it that way. If he must rape his own sister to stop her suffering, so be it. ANd just before the sorry deed is finished, I make him french kiss her, and THEN in goes the knife, out goes the knife, through sister's eyes and straight into brother's.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Fucking cunts.

Then perhaps, maybe, I'll get a decent game.

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