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Operation: Help Out the Little Guys
Subject: Seanbaby
Website: Seanbaby.com
Website Type: Pop Culture
Position: Owner, Writer
Twinkie Rating (1-5): 
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From: Nation Admin [admin@morphinenation.com]
To: 'seanbaby@seanbaby.com'
CC:
Subject: An Offer You Can't Refuse
Dear Seanbaby,
I'm an administrator of popular website morphinenation.com. You most likely have heard of it or seen it linked. I stumbled across your own little website some time ago and, while not completely bowled over, in recent weeks I've been impressed enough to think that there's some rudimentary talent there. How long have you been in the business of writing? A year or so? It's very interesting to see you starting to bloom which is why I'd like to officially help nurture that process and build up to be a much better writer than you are. Get you to "Morphine Level" as it were. I'm officially inviting you to close down your own obscure site and come write for us.
Obviously you're not main page material level yet, but I can probably squeeze you into a less significant portion of the site, say, writing the occasional line for Madame Gonk. In fact, that might be perfect for you, as it's still a step up from your current position but not so huge as for you to get "stage fright", as it were. We're recently giving a great new talent, Heihaicharo Honda a tryout with his own section and, while it would be intriguing to offer you that sort of responsibility, we feel a little more practice would do you some good.
Before you join, however, we're of the opinion that "Seanbaby" is perhaps not suitable a handle for you. Sure, it's pretty good as it stands, it mixes the themes of adult and babyhood, which matches your writing perfectly. Ultimately, like a bisexual, you're going to have to choose which side of the fence you're on. Go with the infantile part, just call yourself "baby".
I trust you'll make the right decision and come work at Morphine Nation. I look forward to your speedy reply.
- Nation Admin
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