UPDATED EVERY MONDAY: Join Master Bedroom and Madame Gonk to see what has made them say "Dear Lord" this week... Madame Gonk: '... And then there's THIS wretched ragamuffin. More brazen than the beast in the field, I think the wanton babble of this common little thug should be ignored by all good Christians everywhere. Nobody needs to hear the foul nonsense that this juvenile deliquent spouts. A sham.' Master Bedroom: 'He's no Frank Sinatra, that's been made perfectly clear by his atrocious behaviour. And you'd think him such a nice young man. Well, I don't trust him, not for a second. When the lights go down, I dread to think what this boy gets up to.' Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: 'What flesh hell is this? Such wanton innuendo! The suggestiveness of it all! This kind of beastly undoing must be HALTED! Get that rubber out of his mouth!!!' Master Bedroom: 'He's blowing alright, and I don't like it. I'm a man of the world, but this is no world I recognise. What a shame that such dastardly chicanery would go on in this country. Well, it wouldn't allowed under my roof.' Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: 'Well I never! The wretched putridity couldn't BE anymore blatant. This kind of brazen cheek won't even be digni- Well, I WILL say this. Whoever invented just a grotesque tool for mopping up evidence of perverse deviation should be HUNG, DRAWN AND QUARTERED!' Master Bedroom: 'I like to think of myself as a man of the world but... come on. Even I have my limits, and my patience is just about up as to take the biscuit. Let's be sensible now.' Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: 'Oh haha, very funny. Let's all have a right royal giggle, shall we? I am FAR from impressed at this little attempt at comedy and shall not stand for it! Just... Just disgusting.' Master Bedroom: 'All I can do is let out a sorry sigh at this point. I dread to think of the pong.' Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: 'What the? That is HORRENDOUS! The wanton groping! The foul sexual suggestion! That's a man of the cloth FOR GOD'S SAKE! In the name of all that is Holy, BAN THIS SICK FILTH!' Master Bedroom: 'Well... You know what they say about those Catholic boys. Thank Heavens I'm Church Of England.' Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: 'Ugh, I wasn't born yesterday. Oh yes, it could be the Eastenders omnibus on that cassette, but we know better. I am appalled and outraged at this seedy little slice from the sickness pie. It's the pits.' Master Bedroom: 'Oh for the love of... When oh when will people learn? I don't know what else to say, it's just.. sad at this point.' Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: 'Do I really need to say anything regarding this cesspool of degradation? We all know what goes on here, I don't think I need to say anything. But I will say this. It's utterly disgusting, not funny and rather tired. Much like everything round here.' Master Bedroom: 'I'm not that soft a touch. Come on now, you're taking liberties.' Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: 'Utterly grotesque. That this disgusting satire of the human being can be allowed to walk around, buck naked and filthy, is beyond me. London Zoo should hang their heads in shame'. Master Bedroom: 'Not really deserving of anything more than a dissapointed tut. I honestly expected better of people, but they always make the worst of anything'. Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' The Dear Lord team were so shocked by the self proclaimed "Peter Pan", they decided to dedicate an entire page to his sick exploits. Click the image above and prepare to be shocked. Madame Gonk: "Things are getting worse and WORSE! I shall be writing a very stern letter of complaint for this gross imagery that I'm being forced to bear witness to. Filthy depravity like this will NOT be tolerated for much longer!!" Master Bedroom "I certainly wouldn't have him in my bath. What would the good ladywife say? Sometimes people take things too far. Not even I can look past such a transgression this time. Deeply bothersome." Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: "This is just despicable. You'd think that people would have the class and common decency to not thrust this sorry part of modern life in our faces, but no, there's always some foul deviant who'll make sure that everyone around has to suffer a grim reminder of one's bodily function. Just abysmal." Master Bedroom "No. There's simply no need for this. I have one upstairs, one downstairs and that's good enough for me. I don't think this kind of thing is appropriate for the outdoors. If you can't hold it in, then you should see a doctor, not one of these new fangled, unhygenic devices. In poor taste, to say the least." Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: "So let me get this straight. A jolly, red nosed man, sneaks into children's bedrooms and night and empties his sack? That is DISGRACEFUL! Sure, it's all fun and games at first, but you just KNOW that those thuggish schoolchildren have already converted the noble Santa legend into their foul worship of all things disgusting. This has simply ruined my holiday, and doubtless the holidays of all God fearing housewives." Master Bedroom "We all know what his game is. I don't know what's more sorry, the fact he's doing it or the fact he thinks he's getting away with it. And he really shouldn't be wearing so much red. Far too suggestive is that, it'd get some blood temperatures raised at the darts meeting of a Thursday, that's for sure." Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: "Okay, I think throughout this entire perverted little sex-show, I've been leniant in my judgment, but even I have my limits. Who's to say what's going on behind those curtains? I have a pretty shrewd idea, or should I say lewd idea? The disgusting, horrific deviances that this foul harbinger of a photo hints at is beyond the limits. Grotesque." Master Bedroom "This isn't funny. I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd grimace and shake his head if, when walking merrily on his way to Alldays, he passes this sorry scene. It's just a saddening indicator of the direction this country's heading in. What's worse is that thems there curtains might as well be open, for we all know what's going on in there. Simply sad." Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: "This is ABOMININABLE! I don't know what's worse, the fact this glorifies the decadence of the Japanese, or the fact that that young strumpet revels in her own state of innapropriate dress. One thing for sure, it's far from 'perfect', as this sick banter would have you believe ." Master Bedroom "I don't think the good lady wife would approve of me having to pour over these dismal images of young, highly toned, supple females in figure hugging dresses and inflammatory tights. I'm pretty sure this is the most exploitative, shocking image of that young girl on this big old internet. A worrying little development." Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: "It's a sad state of affairs when the next generation take stock in the subversive, foul words of young hooligans such as this. 'Bright Eyes' by Art Garfunkel is excitement enough for the eardrums, not the assault of drivel commited by these tearaways. Shocking." Master Bedroom "So this is what the kids of today are listening to, eh? I can't say I'm surprised, but that doesn't mean I'm not dissapointed. I'll stick with me classic crooners, thank you." Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: "What on God's green Earth possesses the youth of this World to parade themselves like slabs of meat painted up in these degrading, boudoir-enticing daubings? Make-up is a Godsend, but this is the work of hussies. For once, I am outraged." Master Bedroom: "The good Mrs. Bedroom will of course put a bit of a face on when the vicar comes to tea, but if I'm honest, I don't know how a lady could wear something like this and not be ashamed. I can't condone this, not one jot." Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: 'Words cannot express the utter abhorrence I have for this traversty of human decency! This really goes against the grain, and the fact that CHILDREN have been involved in this sick little game takes things too far. A sorry sham'. Master Bedroom: 'I'm all for kids having a fun time, but I wasn't born yesterday. It's pretty clear to me and any decent Englishman what's going on here. I won't pretend I'm not upset, I'm sorry but I won't. No man in his proper mind could condone this shameful parade'. Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: 'A game of Trivial Pursuits is enough excitement for me. But THIS FILTH??!!'. Master Bedroom: 'The wife would have a fit if she caught me looking at them's there tights. More's the pity'. Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: "I dare say it is the parents who are to blame for this absolute debacle that I suppose they call a child. A disgraceful charade." Master Bedroom: "I must admit that I do occassionally drop my Rich Tea biscuit into my drink from time to time...but that mess? Heads would be turning at the bowls club if I walked around looking like that little bundle." Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting to see this picture of degredation fall out of my Littlewoods catalogue as I turned the page. Is this someone's idea of a scandalous joke? Some people would call this a wonder of nature but there's only one word for this smut :- ORGY!! This sheer decedance is the last straw." Master Bedroom: "I'm sorry, I like to think of myself as an understanding fellow, but I honestly can't find the good in this pretty nasty image. Look at them enjoying themselves, not giving a thought for average working Joe's like you and me who have to deal with this seedy imagery day in and day out. I'm sorry but I'm just... disappointed." Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!' Madame Gonk: "Well! One can scarcely bear to imagine the acts of vulgar carnality that may have taken place in this sordid little sin factory. An utter disgrace. A nation should be weeping." Master Bedroom: "A quick kip on a Sunday afternoon so that I'm refreshed to enjoy a mug of me old 'erbal and 'Points of View' is one thing, but I know how the younger generations work, and it is sad to see that something that was once such an institution has taken such a pitiful turn for the worse." Our Rating: 'Dear Lord!'