I tell you now, that I have never been the biggest fan of G’s time machine. Not only has it caused some problems in my life, but also has supplied me with many a G (And lets face it, I tend to confuse easily.) That being said, I also can never pass up a chance to hop in the damn thing. It is, in and of itself, like my love of alcohol, I know bad things will come, but the fun along the way is so worth it.

Of course G’s Time Machine isn’t this nice!

Of course, the damn fool, gets splinters in his hands and thus leaves me to go on a mission of my own. I look down at him and shake my head, “I must find G, you know what trouble “you” can cause.” I think he screamed out again, but there I went using his time machine. I would figure out a way to fix his hands later, for I had to stop that knife wielding fool. Now where would one go for advice on how to stop a fool like G.

WHAT a Welcome sign!!!

Of course, I land on Elm street, the shit nightmares are made of (Literally). Before I can even think out pops some kid screaming at me. At this point my head is killing me, “YO!” I yell, “Do I look like I’m in the mood.” I’m starting to see why G has a knife, hell I wish I had a knife right now. “Why are you screaming.” In what can only be described as a mousy voice, this worthless person looks up at me, “He is trying to kill me.” I shake my head, slapping the person across the face. “WHO!?” I yell, but at this point they are screaming again.

See why I don’t like the damn Time Machine.

That is an F’ed up face

But back to the person standing in front of me, screaming their lungs out. Just as I was about to punch them in the face (For this is the best way to shut someone up) Here comes another screaming kid, only this one is bleeding profusely. I look around for the assailant (For maybe they have some tips for me), but none is to be found. “Who the fuck are you running from!” I scream, as I am running out of time. Suddenly his arm flies off, though I see no one do it. My eyes grow wide with merriment, and I smack the other person again (For no other reason then for my own pleasure).

I realize that I must sleep to see Freddy, for he would give me some good tips on finding G. I look around, and see a patch of grass, “Ahhh” I say walking over to it and laying down. Closing my eyes I fall asleep instantly (HEY! Its a gift and a curse.). When I open my eyes, there stands Freddy. OF course this is post movie one Freddy, so he’s not as scary as he once was. I roll my eyes as he makes a comment about the pants I am wearing,

“Hey motherfucker, I’m here on business.” He looks at me, and I lift my hands, “YO! I just need to know how to stop someone!” Just as he is about to chop my ass up, I realize the error of my ways. I should not have come here, I run, trying to think of somewhere to go when I realize that this is a dream, and he will find me anyways. “Time Machine, where did I put the fucking Time Machine.”

Reaching in my pocket I smile, as I think of where to go. Luckily the damn thing works in my dream, and I pull it out, sending myself out of this fucking nightmare (Literally). Opening my eyes I realize that I transported myself back to the Bears. In my hand I hold Freddy’s glove, though I don’t remember grabbing it. I looked down, hoping to see G lying on the floor still, but I had no such luck. Putting the glove on my hand, I stumbled through the forest looking for him. “G” I yelled and as I was about to walk to the house I fell in a hole. “What the fuck” I yelled up, wondering why the fuck I followed G in the first place.

“G” I yell again, hoping for once he would be there to save me. It wasn’t like he could leave, I had his Time Machine with me. I used the glove to claw at the dirt, making it the shape of my latest love (The Gorgeous James Lafferty, who I had been in fact stalking for a week). As I looked into his eyes, I heard someone walking around above me. Smiling at James I yelled, “WHOSE UP THERE!?”

Ahhh James what have I done?

Category: Comedy | Tags: adventure, Alochol, Berenstein Bears, Freddy, G, Laurie, time travel // 3 Comments »