Word of the Year? More like Word of the Queer AM I RITE GUYZ???
In one of the dumbest non-stories since the pregnant “man”, Oxford Dictionary has chosen “unfriend” as it’s 2009 Word of the Year. Yes, “unfriend”, as in to remove someone from your friends list on Facebook. All the words in the English language, and a stupid fucking Facebook term that isn’t even a real word and is generally used by drama queens, has been recognized as Word of the Year. And not by some high school in their lame yearbook. That would almost be forgivable. But no, this was by the people WHO MAKE THE FUCKING DICTIONARY WITH ALL THE WORDS IN IT.
Other words in the running were “hashtag”, “tramp stamp”, and “sexting”. Now, I’m all for sexting, but it shouldn’t be Word of the Year. Not because “unfriend” is better… but because nothing should be Word of the Year. It’s no secret that I’ve given out awards for things based on a certain demarkation of time. Readers of the Morphorums and the Oratory Forums circa 2003 know damn well that I used to do a thing called Post of the Day, but the differences between that and this are vast, and crucial. For one, PotD was fucking awesome. No two ways about it; it not only honored some damn good posts, but it drew a line in the sand between the cunts and the noncunts, based on whether one found it “OH NOS EVIL” or “a silly thing that people are having some fun with”, respectively. Second, there was a fool-proof way of measuring what the best post on a particular day was: my opinion. How do you go wrong, with such a brilliant barometer? For WotY, what the fuck are they even using to decide? It’s so arbitrary, and probably something someone just picked at the last minute. And the fact that they do this every single year is absolutely mindboggling.
But, if Oxford can do it, so can Morphine Nation. And we at the Morphine Nation have, for your reading pleasure, decided to compile a list of words that we would think should be Word of the Year, if we were so gay as to think anything should. This list has the two benefits listed above which Oxford’s does not: it’s awesome, and it’s based on my opinion and therefore righter. So, enjoy…
- Wonderboy: Morphine Nation’s sister site, Project Wonderboy has launched, and I’ve always found “Wonderboy” to be a sweet term in relation to the site, so let’s throw it on the list.
- Fuckballs: I don’t think this has actually found its way onto the Nation yet, but I guess that means it’s making its debut now. I was doing something recently, I don’t even remember what and I’d Google it except that Google doesn’t track my offline goings-on for some reason, and something surprised me so I yelled “holy fuckballs”. I don’t even know why. But I know it’s an awesome word, and since then I’ve been using it all over the place, which I think is similar to what happened with “unfriend” to people who are inferior to me.
- Fukken: Another “fuck” derivative, but Luigi said I had to put it in, and who am I to say no to Him?
- Phorum: Like a forum, only way better. It describes any individual board within the Morphorums, or the Morphorums themselves, and came into existence when we wanted to merge the word “forum” with words that describe positive things and start with “ph-”, such as “phun” and “phantastic”.
- Cuntbuggery: Like buggery, but in the cunt. So it basically just means sex, but still, how much more awesome does it sounds?
- Nigger: Not the most original entry on the list, but we do have one in the White House, so maybe it’s time we bring it out of obscurity, and teach the world this new word, eh?
- Baby Hammer: The name of a game where you, just as in the term itself, take two words that are harmless on their own, and put them together to make something that might be fucked up. As it was described to me, it could mean a hammer used by babies, a hammer used on babies, or any number of other things, of varying levels of horror.
And last, but not least, the winner…
- Peckeschausse: Something Hardcore Hubert calls people, and for years, I’ve considered it the “best word ever”. I don’t even know what it means, if it’s supposed to be a term of endearment or derision, or anything like that. I just know that it’s awesome. It almost sounds like a French Pokemon, and given Dan’s affinity for the monsters of a pockety nature, I wouldn’t be too surprised if that’s what it is.
So there’s Morphine Nation’s Word of the Year, and all the contenders to said title. Did I miss any? Are there any that you think should’ve been on the list? And while we’re at it, what do you think of Oxford’s? Hit that Comment link and let me know!
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First off, the title alone was just plain boss. I can’t believe that unfriend was considered the word of the year, what the crap is that about.
Of course, your words pwned it, but personally my word of the year has been Epic. I’ve over used it, but hell a word like Epic is epic in and of itself.
I love that Fukken is on here, and I believe that I will now be using Fuckballs. I mean its Fuck and Balls, amazing.
JCC, I am appalled. as if just having a ” word of the year ” was not queer enough, they had to pick faggotry like ” unfriend ” as the winner ?? Fuckballs….. there has got to be a specific generation to blame for this ! some group we can finger for this atrocity ! but who….the Jews….no?? we could blame the Nazi party, but its really not their style……generation X is a good candidate……but I say government conspiracy.
@Sethoz- NOT Gen X. I’d say Gen Y…I’m Gen X and I hate that shit.
That said, I’m going to use ‘fuckballs’ as much as possible but I’d like to nominate ‘facepalm’ because that’s what I did reading this article.
Holy fuckballs we are screwed…
I would like for Dan to come on here and explain the meaning of his word, but aside from that, good article done! I liked your claim that your opinion makes this award “righter.”
Brilliant article, and good call on the best word ever. I heard about this on the radio this morning, and thought to myself “what a stupidly dicklabian thing to report about.”
As for the etymology of peckeschausse, there are several suspected origins. One is that it’s simply a Medeival German word for “cunt” (Peckes=pecker, Haus=house, therefore peckeschausse roughly means “penis house”) Another is that Hardcore Hubert made up a German-sounding word to add some international flavour to the usual name calling that went with his promos. When people would ask what it meant, he wouldn’t give an answer so much as ridicule them for their ignorance, which is why he’s the best wrestling manager of all time, hands (and pants) down.
The short answer is, I’m not entirely sure which one is right, but I do know it was originally meant to be derogatory, but like with any good catchphrase, it caught on and became a sort of nigger/nigga conundrum for wrestling fans. It’s acceptable to call your friends a peckeschausse, but if you’re at odds with someone, calling them a peckeschausse is akin to killing their mother with their cat tied to their favourite hockey stick.
Hope that clears things up.
Why are there no line breaks here, peckeschausses? Somebody’s getting a coon whompin’ for this.
You should totally get Hardcore to join us on the Phorums sometime.
Excellent post. I must have missed this one, wasn’t it last year (or two ago) they added “smackdown” into the dictionary? Hey I love wrestling, but its almost as if Oxford and Webster’s and all those other fukken peckeschausses dictionary companies are just trying to get attention for themselves? OR… or (mild Scott Hall reference) is it that language is changing? And perhaps we can’t fight the evolution of language?
I’d argue the latter. Historical linguistics is some neat stuff I think.
At the same time I agree that unfriend is a bunch of cuntbuggery as the “best” word of the year. In fact, who in the blue hell has the right to declare “best” word? Good call JCC on targetting stupidity and tearing them a new set of fuckballs… which is a word I am surprised has not been used on this site or on WONDERBOY. Wow, I know this term although don’t regularly as I use my babyhammer, and this just made my favorite blog better.
Great article, JCC! I heard that the other day and wondered why are we dumbing down the dictionary.
Also, I thought the technical term was “defriend”.
I stand corrected, clearly, since it’s now in the dictionary.
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