Well its the probe again, which means im still alive. Since i interviewed a notorious serial killer and lived to tell the tale im just going to assume im bulletproof and i cant die like Highlander. In fact im going to grow my hair and speak in a Scottish accent. Aye, hand over your loot! Oh shit i think thats pirate. Anyway onwards and forwards, the second half is just below forthwith.

I CAN tell you that I know for certain that human flesh tastes like ham. Mmm.
That’s the second time u said that and im forwarding that to the FBI. Unless you promise to kill everyone but me – because i would love to live in a world with no one else
I already told you you’re not on the list. If there was a list.
Just making sure
You want to live alone with me? Interesting.
Well no ill stay here in Australia and u can stay there in the US. Until the food runs out then ill go on the run; with only my plucky sidekick a teddy-bear by my side
What about sex?
That’s what the teddy-bear is for
Ahhhh. Well, whatever floats your boat.
I removed the buttons in her eyes
I think I’m gonna keep some men around, though. You can have Australia to yourself.
Ouch, im getting bitch-slapped in this interview
Dude, you’re the one who said that was what you wanted. Australia, not the bitch-slapping. But either way.
Fair point, im just a bit sensitive in this interview because of the very good chance it could end with the host being murdered. Do you want a back-rub or something? We got an intern for that kind of thing, Chen
Huh?
Just in case u feel the rage bubbling up let me know
Right, right. No, I’m not a rage killer.
Chen’s the morphine intern, havnt u met him?
I haven’t. I think I’ve heard of him, though.
You know why you havnt, you are hardly in the office
True, true. I blame the working six days a week thing.

Awesome segway time. This feels like a theme because i asked this of Fluckey when she was on this show. Why don’t you write more?

I blame the working six days a week thing. Currently I’m also attempting to MAKE Christmas gifts for everyone on my list this year which takes a lot more time than just shopping.
What kind of list?
Christmas list, silly.
Oh, phew
I almost put a smiley on the end of that sentence by the way actually. But you’ve got me all paranoid now.
You’r paranoid? Ive just stopped myself turning off the computer and jumping off the window, twice. Every time u mention skin tastes like ham
Some day, Ano, I’ll tell you the story of why I know that. But not here. And not now.
Well. You know i put some oil on Chen so hes easier to eat. Just in case ur feeling a little peckish
I’m having soup tonight, thanks.
Just remembered i offered, if you feel the need to add to ur list. Here’s a hypothetical question. When you finally fly off the handle, who will you kill, and who’s safe? (from the nation)
Ano, ano, ano… I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I’m not a rage killer, but obviously I also have to mention again that if I intend to get away with murder, I can’t go telling who I’d kill! Come one now.
Er, come ON now

Id just like to pause this interview for a second, as the host is wont to do, just to mention that that right there, is Honey making an error in grammer. Oh hells yes! Honey if you come after me for revealing this id just like to say that i know kung fu and my two guns arnt just there for show. Lets get back to it!

Thats why its a hypothetical question. You know, a thought piece. Indulge us
Oh, then hypothetically you’re ALL safe.
Thats a little disappointing. I was hoping you would gut Trudes at least. She called you a bitch once im pretty sure
Well, she hasn’t met me, so I’m not too worried. People tend to like me in real life. Even if they think I’m a ridiculous goody-two-shoes on the internet. Cuz, you know, boobs.
Do they? I think they, and not me, deserve a horrible death at swordpoint. People hate me even more in real life than the internet. Thats why my best friend is a teddy bear with no eyes
Heh. That IS sad.
Yeah, pity, not murderous intent, thats the ticket. Ok moving on. Who are your favourite writers at the nation and who do you hate
I’m an Al Creed fan. I don’t hate anybody.
But this is your chance to show everyone ur not a goody two shoes, by flaming people
Don’t people need to be able to count on something?? That Ano will ask inappropriate questions, and that Seattle Freeze will talk about sex and that honey isn’t going to flame anybody??
Im assuming that because u didnt say J was one of ur favourites that you are doing it to get him jealous and bitter and break up with his hussy
Yeah, that’s probably it. And because I don’t want anybody thinking I’m J.
Ok now its time for the origin story. The first time we saw you was when we were part of the pedo forums. How did you go become a regular at the nation, and why?

Well, let’s see now. I came down to the dark side during some kind of thing where Jim was pitting Rutger Hauer against a celebrity representative of any challenger…the catch being that he chose the celebrity, while claiming that that celebrity was the choice of the challenger. I was a little bit scared to participate, but also a little bit excited by the insanity of it all. I was tired of the…..I don’t know…..mutual love-fest/drama-fest that was so prevalent upstairs…I was ready for the in-your-face wiggedy-wackness that is the Morphine Nation. And since I was able to take all the abuse and spell things correctly, I have stuck around.

You have a track record of perfect grammer and punctuation, and dont like people that dont share your lofty ideals. Do you have ADD or is this just another aspect of your serial killer personality? (I hear Jack the ripper was meticulous)
I don’t think I have ADD, actually. I just like to sound like an educated grown-up.
Compared to the rest of us u are. Shortly after we split from the pedo forums, some people formerly at the nation started their own website. Chen tells me you post at both sites. Can you describe why this happened and why those pricks wont come back.
Nope.
Why not?
Because that would require speculation about the motivations of others, and I can’t do it. But it’s probably your fault.
I had nothing to do with this one
Suuuuure.
How about you tell us why you think it happened. You must know something since you still post there
I think if you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about, that it happened long enough after the split that I never put the two events together in my mind. I think somebody just wanted to have something new that HE made, and put a lot of effort into it, and some people were up for participating in that, and others weren’t.
Actually i dont know what im talking about im just trying to sound professional
Aha!
When there was a mass email going through the staff, you didnt respond. Would you like to take this opportunity to air your opinions on it?
I didn’t get it?
Wow that explains it. Give me ur email ill email them to u
*EDITED OUT*

Id just like to say that normally everything goes in the probe, but in this case the FBI made me take it out because its evidence in the cases of several unsolved homicides.

Okay, not sure what you want me to add…
Just your opinion on what the direction of the site should be going forward. What content you would like to see more etc
Oh hell. I don’t know. I guess I would like to see more posts in the comics category. That’s probably why I’m an Al Creed fan. Skeletor. Professor Nifty Saltyburg or whatever his name is. I start feeling alienated from the site (you’d think it would be hard to feel like a “misfit” among “misfits,
but it happens) when it gets all political and stuff.
Ah i see, like the heavy news articles?
Yes. Lighter news commentary I’m totally fine with. But I don’t contribute enough to feel like I have a right to comment, if that makes sense.
You’r one of the few people that read, id suspect that means you have more of a right to comment than most
Now you’re REALLY off the list. SMILEY’D. (not that there’s a list.)
I try, i try. It says here you are over 30 years old. Arnt you worried that you are now over the hill because guys are looking for jailbait nowadays?
I’m looking forward to becoming a cougar.
Id say you already are.
Rawr
Can i put a risque picture of u up for the readers on this interview
Do you have one?
no i dont i was hoping you would supply it
Oh darn. I don’t have anything especially risque.
Oh well they can use their imagination i guess

Well there you go folks. The interview ends with me attempting to be pervy and getting nowhere…….story of my life. So im off to drown my sorrows and hit on some fatties, any questions you have will be taken by Chen. Toodles!

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Category: Ano's Public Probe | Tags: Honey, Morphine Nation, Public Probe // 10 Comments »